Does being a parent really make you happy? — Chuck B Philosophy

I have had an on and off relationship with happiness. Like a man dating a woman that he expects will be unfaithful and break his heart. A man in that situation can never invest fully in the relationship because he does not trust the other. Like that man, I could never fully invest in happiness because I did not believe in happiness.

I did not trust happiness because I felt that being chronically unhappy gave me an edge. Dissatisfaction kept me sharp and helped me to avoid complacency. I feared that being happy would make me lazy. I believed that if I were happy, I would sit there and smile at myself while neglecting my work. I feared that if I were satisfied with where I was, I would lose all motivation to strive for a better future.

It turns out that I am not the first person to face this fear. The question of happiness has been with us since ancient Greece, and probably long before that. But to get to the heart of the issue, I had to become a parent.

When I look back on having twin babies, I think it was one of the most amazing experiences. I loved my little ones, the soft noises they made, and the warm weight as they slept in my arms. I miss those baby days and remember them as some of the happiest days of my life. But were they?