I lost nearly 100 lbs of weight, and the trick to doing it was not what you would expect. I had tried diets before with no success. I had tried exercise, bought a treadmill, and even joined a gym with no change in my waistline. Turns out the secret to losing weight was the one thing I had been denying myself.

I used to look in the mirror and see myself all fat and think about what I loser I must be to have allowed this to happen to me. Then I would get down on myself for my lack of willpower and vow not to eat anything that day as a way of punishing myself. Punishing myself for my lack of self-control and for being a “fat slob.”

Then I would proceed to skip breakfast and lunch as my new radical weight-loss plan. I would get hungry and feel the burning in my gut as the day went. I would tell myself the hunger was good. That the hurting was what I deserved for my glutinous weakness in the past. I used my self-loathing to push myself into the early afternoon on a starvation diet.

As the afternoon wore on, the hunger would get to me. The lack of food led to a lack of energy, which caused my willpower to sag. Then I would give in. Usually, at the worst time, to the worst foods. In those late afternoon hours, the food ready at hand was either snacks in…